"The desire takes me over, but I can’t get pregnant"

A while ago Glenn ordered a Babywatcher for a girlfriend, with the secret hope that she could soon admire her own little one. "I'll just do that," she thought, make a baby. In the meantime, they have gone through a lot of pregnancy tests: getting pregnant seems impossible. She says that this is not always easy.

The time is now

“I wanted a baby five years ago but my partner, Coen, thought we were too young. He wasn’t ready for it yet and it didn’t fit into our lives either. We were too loose and playful, perhaps even irresponsible. I can see that now. We have had a dog for two years now, Shivan - an American Staffordshire. Because of this I know that we can handle the responsibility. Shivan is my baby, but a real baby would be just a little nicer. Coen and I were at a crucial point in our relationship: breaking-up or continuing. But if we did continue, I also wanted to go all the way. Coen agreed, so I stopped taking the pill and had a lot of sex. Lots of sex."

"Sometimes it takes you over 100%. I was thinking about my future pregnancy day and night. Raw meat and fish, alcohol - I no longer ate and drank it. As if I was already pregnant."

‘’At the beginning, Coen in particular was very focused on getting pregnant. You noticed that in everything. "I can tell by your breasts." "By your belly." "How you do." "Even Shivan notices it." After sex, he even held my belly, very cute! After a few months, his attitude changed because he realized it didn't make sense to be so concerned about it because it comes when it comes. He only asked monthly when my fertile period is, that's it! This changed everything for me. Although I haven’t done any research at all before, I now jumped behind my computer and spent hours daily on the internet looking up all the tips and tricks about pregnancy. ”

The baby focus

“We tried everything. New positions, so we went deeper, which would increase the chance of a baby. It was certainly nice to try new things, but it was without result. I read that we had to have less sex to save his sperm, so we put a brake on it. I adjusted my entire lifestyle. Although I usually like pizza, kebabs and take away diners, I now went on the healthy tour. I also didn't go out with the girls anymore. If I would meet up with them, then I really only was focused on the baby. At work I was only busy with the baby. After work, I started exercising because this too seems to be good for getting pregnant. I also wanted to take it easy and stopped drinking in the context of my new life and the new family life that is coming. I was constantly working on it and it completely took over me. I constantly checked the pregnancy app. At night I dreamed about being pregnant. My life was 100% about pregnancy. If I would feel like filet americain or sushi? Bad luck! I didn't want to eat that anymore; who knows I might have been pregnant." Did you know: 30% are pregnant within 3 months 70% are pregnant within 6 months 80% are pregnant within 1 year 90% are pregnant within 2 years

Is it a signal from above?

“Because of impatience and ignorance, I did a monthly pregnancy test. I therefore didn’t know the structure of my cycle. Also, I hoped so much for the good news. I kept everyone well informed. For example, if my period started a few hours later, I would let my friends know that I was perhaps pregnant. It emotionally affected me a lot emotionally and it was a bit of a disappointment every time my period started. I became irritated and the atmosphere at home certainly didn’t get any better. I took it out on Coen, which of course isn’t good, because he can’t help it either. Never less I thought it was his or mine fault. I asked myself thousands of questions. What could we do better? Should we even get pregnant or is this a signal from above? On the other hand, I thought: it is nature, there is nothing one can do about it. One day I would be crying in bed, the next day everything would be fine, and the day after I would be crying in bed again. Coen and I were going thru a though time together, so we decided to do something about it. In May I am having my fertility checked (after a year of trying); we made a deal to let things go until then. The thought that I’m getting examined calms me down. It helps to let go. I now realize that I was very exaggerated with my extreme baby focus.”

The pressure from outside

“now I am 27, like Coen. We have been together for 9 years now. Most people think that we are too young to think about having kids. This is not how I feel. My sisters are very fertile, they always got pregnant straight away. They were both 21 when they got their first baby. My mom was 23. This is the reason why I have felt a lot of pressure lately. In Coen his family it seems whole his family is very fertile too, this is why I thought it would be an easy job. Coen and I have been though a tough time, last while, now it’s going way better. Of course, I would love to get pregnant, but I now realize that I live now. If I feel like going out, I can go out and now I can eat whatever I want. In a while I can’t do any of that for nine months. Of course I’m disappointed every month when I’m on my period, but instead of getting grumpy, I thought: better next time! A boy or a girl? Coen would like a boy. I hope it’s a girl, but to be honest I don’t mind if it’s a boy or a girl, I just want a little one. That’s my dream.” Also trying to get pregnant? Read more about the ways to boost your fertility!


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